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Rattled: What He’s Thinking When You’re Pregnant

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Rattled: What He’s Thinking When You’re Pregnant

For the last twenty-five years, there has been a call for new dads to be more sensitive and share their feelings about the pregnancy of and their child. Most new dads have not answered the call. At the same time, new moms have continued to share their frustration about their husband’s unwillingness to share his feelings. Many experts have offered their theories ass to why a new dad won’t wear his heart on his sleeve, from genetics to the biology of the male brain, to the way men are raised as boys to the male-female language barrier; and to men just being men. But why this is so is no longer important as finding a way to break down this great emotional divide between new dads and moms. I wrote this book to help a new mom get in touch with what a new dad is feeling and bridge the communication gap.

            I place emphasis on get in touch because new dads have heard these three words all too often. The truth is that as much as new moms have wanted new dads to get in touch with their feelings, new moms have been out of touch with their husband’s feelings. An exercise I conducted in my workshop for moms supports my conclusion.

            I asked the following question to a group of moms in their last trimester of the pregnancy: “How many of you expect your husband to read a book about motherhood or pregnancy so he can better understand what you are experiencing a new mom? “

            All the moms raised their hands.

            “How many of you have read a book on fatherhood to better understand what your husband may be experiencing as a new dad?”

            Most of the moms did not raise their hands. 

            The information in this book is based on my personal experiences as a dad, interaction with a melting pot of dads I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and networking with since 1992, and workshops I’ve conducted for moms over the past fifteen years.

To read more about my insights on an expectant father’s perspective purchase my book “Rattled: What Your Husband Is Thinking When You’re Pregnant” at your local bookstore, Amazon.com or other book venues.  I also recommend you purchase my companion book for moms “Pacif(her): What She’s Thinking When She’s Pregnant.”


To hire me as a speaker contact me at hogan@hoganhilling.com.  Follow me on Twitter @TheDadGuru 

Excerpt from Rattled Introduction

Copyright © 2011 Turner Publishing.

Reprinted with permission. Edited from original.