Heather Graham, the pretty actress from the Austin Powers and the Hangover movies has written her first screenplay. She is also the director and has asked us to play ourselves as sex educators and authors of Extended Massive Orgasm. The name of the movie is called “Half Magic”. We are scheduled to go to NYC to do the small scene she perfectly cast us for, playing ourselves in June 2014. At the last minute the production money disappears so the production is put on the shelf.
We doubt that Half Magic will ever be made. It is now a year later and a new production company has taken over and they are filming in Los Angeles. Surprise! Heather calls us and we again say yes to the offer. It is being filmed in LA, which is closer to the bay area so easier for us to get to as we do not like traveling.
Our call time was noon the next day and the production driver was to pick us up at 11:45. We walked around the neighborhood in the AM after a tasteless buffet breakfast at the hotel. At least it is free. Lots of new big buildings going up with huge cranes but the old buildings do not seem in very good shape. The sidewalks smelled like piss and cigarettes. The driver came early and we got to the studio by 11:30. We passed a lot of homeless people or really tent people as they all seemed to have little tents. It was like a refugee camp or maybe the last of the Indians were pushed to LA, only most of the people we saw were dark skinned. It made me appreciate our hotel room.
The shoot was in this old and run down loft building with a couple trailers for makeup and wardrobe in the parking lot. They were setting up for lunch in the parking lot as we arrived. We were brought to the second floor and put in a room with old furniture and drab conditions. They offered us separate rooms as it is part of the SAG (Screen Actors Guild) contract. One is plenty for us. They had us sign some papers and gave us some expense money. We could hear the voices of the filming in a room close by. They were shooting a pleasure course and someone was yelling about loving her pussy and then a lot of voices would repeat whatever she said.
Then we were taken downstairs to the trailer for makeup. On the way we bumped into Dr. Christiane Northrup our friend and the person responsible for us doing this movie. She had just finished filming a scene. Quick hugs and down the stairs. Joseph a friendly young man did Vera’s hair. Another nice young woman did Vera’s face makeup at the same time. That was entertaining. I was perfect as is so they left me alone. Vera looked beautiful.
Then we went over to the next trailer, which was wardrobe. They checked what we had brought with us and offered a couple pretty robes to Vera and she selected a pretty red one plus a pair of slippers. I was still perfect as is.
As we were returning to the building all the cast, extras, filming crew and staff came down the steps to get in line for lunch. There were a lot of pretty women including a couple of friends from Facebook parading down the stairs to lunch. We met Heather who was very receptive and gave us nice hugs. She introduced us to the producers and three of the costars including Molly Shannon of SNL fame, Stephanie Beatriz from TV’s Brooklyn 99 and Angela Kinsey from TV’s The Office. We hugged some more and they said we could cut into the food line as we were higher on the totem pole than the extras. Being an equalitarian I did not like that idea of a caste system (pun intended), but once we were in the back of the line they pushed us to the front anyway. Lunch was excellent with salad, asparagus, chicken, tritip and more. We sat with a couple of the extras but not much conversation as everyone was hungry.
We went back to our room. They had to finish the morning scene. This time we walked into the filming room, which was a large loft. There was a small stage and a bunch of lights and guys with cameras. A lot of the pretty girls we had seen come down the stairs earlier were standing near the stage all wearing pink boas. Heather came over to us and offered for us to watch from the far side of the room where the monitors and directors chairs were set up. We got to sit with the crew. That was fun and better than sitting in a room waitng.
Molly Shannon was on stage leading the class, which was about loving your pussy. She was hysterical as she was jumping around and making big gestures towards her pussy, dancing around maniacally. The class had to copy her motions almost like playing “Simon Says”. She had to do the scene over and over again, each time was a little different yet thoroughly entertaining. You could tell that Heather was enjoying her work.
They finally finished the scene. Heather went over our lines before we got changed for our roles. I was having a hard time as I base my timing on what I am doing with Vera’s pussy. We went back to our room to change and wait to be called in. They come and get us after about another half hour.
We are next to the stage where Christiane and Molly are standing, introducing us as the authors and demonstrators of EXTENDED MASSIVE ORGASM. Molly brings us on stage and I take Vera’s slippers off and she lays down on this massage table. We have to rearrange it to our specifications with pillows and towels to put under Vera’s legs etc. We redo the introduction a few times as we get on and off the stage and Vera does not put her slippers back on again. I say a few lines and spread Vera’s labia and she is ready to go, having strong visual contractions. I am pleased. Each time before we begin filming someone holds a board in front of us and they say “Action, Speak“. I talk some more and they have me talk to a spot where the audience will be standing. They have also given me a microphone that dangles from my shirt to my ankle. I apply some lubrication to Vera’s introitus and she continues to get off really well. They had to hide the name Albolene on the jar of lubricant and changed it to BOLE by crossing out some letters as they did not have permission to show it.
I say another couple of lines and then they say. “Cut. You are done.” I felt I was just getting rolling. “I have not gotten to Vera’s clitoris” I say.
Heather says, “You did great. That was enough.” Vera changes back into her street clothes but I am wearing the same on and off the set. We come back to the big loft where they are filming. First they wanted me to read my lines but then some other guy does that as they film the reaction in the crowd, specifically Heather, Angela and Stephanie as they respond to what we were doing.
They do that a few times and we are ready to go but Molly wants to say good-bye so we wait some more. Finally they finish and Molly comes over and hugs us. She tells us how great we are and we tell her how much we enjoyed her antics. She wants a photo with us so someone takes a couple photos of the three of us with her personal camera. They gave us the big jar of BOLE on our way out and I just stick it into our carry on luggage.